Now I feel like the new wife who keeps her ex around for chores. I am working on my beloved shiny new Mac but I have my PC running beside it with AOL opened and my blog. I admit I like having two computers because I am always afraid one will die and then where will I be? I know I should probably sell the Dell--it's only a year and a half old and then I'd have so much desk space I could rent it out to tenants if I wanted (which I don't really want, by the way.)
Hard writing day. Over two thousand words but none of them very good. Whenever I start a new book, it's always hard for me to untangle myself from the old. Nothing seems as good as what I just completed (never mind that the completed work is usually 4 years and 14 drafts and the new material is in draft one.) I feel as though I'm bastardizing parts of my last novel and it takes a while for the book to stand on its own legs and stretch them a bit. I'm not sure what the solution to this is except to keep writing, to trust that things will unjell, to say screw you to my fears and keep on going until the book unlocks itself for me. As Clea Simon says, "You have to get the rust out of the pipes before the water flows."
There is a fantasyland for writers that I imagine, a big glossy place with a huge welcoming arch and when you enter, you sit down to write and your story unfolds. All the plot pieces are in place, the layering of theme is nuanced, and on the first word, you are in that other writing world. It goes without sayint that you are also supremely confident. I sometimes, in my dark moments, imagine that ever other writer has free admission to this place, but I don't even have enough for a ticket.
Back to work...