I think I've loved every thing Pam Houston has written. She has that rare ability to be so honest on the page, so brave even as she's being vulnerable that you cannot help but follow every word. I'm a city girl, but DEEP CREEK, her latest masterwork got me in ways I couldn't quite explain, so that I was dreaming of a ranch life, thinking about horses and pipes freezing in snowy weather, and seeing the rare beauty of the world. But she also got me thinking about family, about the wounds they inflict on growing girls and we heal.
I'm not the only one who adores this book. Take a look at these raves:
"…good writing can make you envious, no matter how foreign the terrain. Other times, you read a good memoir and find yourself wanting to track down the author and become friends. A third kind of book is so insightful and evocative, you shelve it beside other favorite and instructive titles. “Deep Creek” might just do all three.”
-Nathan Deuel for the L.A. Times
“Pam Houston is in possession of a deep, heart-achingly beautiful love for her own personal piece of earth. And as equally deep is her ability for hope. In a time where the world is either drowning, or burning, or being drilled-into, Houston’s outlook promises a better tomorrow – even if that means we’re no longer here.”
-Sara Cutaia for the Chicago Review of Books
“If Cowboys Are My Weakness was Pam Houston’s call to millions of women—blasting us with self-recognition of how we give away our own power—then her new book is the response to that call.”
-Amy Reardon for The Rumpus
Pam Houston is the author of the memoir, Deep Creek: Finding Hope In The High Country, as well as two novels, Contents May Have Shifted and Sight Hound, two collections of short stories, Cowboys Are My Weakness and Waltzing the Cat, and a collection of essays, A Little More About Me, all published by W.W. Norton. Her stories have been selected for volumes of The O. Henry Awards, The Pushcart Prize, Best American Travel Writing, and Best American Short Stories of the Century among other anthologies. She is the winner of the Western States Book Award, the WILLA Award for contemporary fiction, the Evil Companions Literary Award and several teaching awards.
I am so tickled and honored to have you here. Endless thanks, Pam.
I love that this book is like a love letter to your ranch. There’s
a gorgeous line in your book about how your ranch saved you. I love the
unexpectedness of what place does for you. All my life, I never wanted anything
domestic because of my upbringing, and then suddenly, I had this old 3 story
house, and I swear that house wooed me, and changed me. What I want to know is
what you discovered that was new about your ranch in the writing, how you were
even more changed by that ranch in writing about it? It surely must have
deepened the bond.
I discovered several things writing this book. The first
thing is that I wrote my way into a working definition of the difference
between the action of fiction and nonfiction on the page. In fiction writing the action is all
vertical. Fiction pops and dives. If you were to graph the action of writing
fiction it would look like a EKG.
Nonfiction is more about saturation.
It is water running out across a large field, sinking into all of the
nooks and crannies. I got saturated with the ranch while I was writing this
book, in a good way. I have spent so many of the years there just trying to
figure out a way to pay the mortgage, writing the book was time to take stock. To
enumerate all of the ways the ranch has grown me up, made an adult out of me,
and they were more numerous than I ever imagined it. I knew I loved it in a
romantic way, but I didn’t realize how much I loved it in a married people way,
in a been through some stuff together way, in a learning each other all the way
down to the bone way.
I also deeply loved the parts about your writing career (how
is it possible that a university would be so snotty after you had published the
incredible Cowboys are My Weakness?!!!), the travel involved. You went from
struggling to fame, but what I love the most is you seem the same person, down
to earth, knowing what is important. Do you think it is the ranch that helps
you not let this all go to your head? I have a feeling that you don’t think you
are as famous as you absolutely are, which makes me adore you even more.
I feel very lucky to get to do what I love for a living. And
by that I don’t just mean writing, I mean teaching, which if I am really being
honest is the center of my life, its deepest heart. Because of how I was raised, and who I was
raised by, I will never stop trying my hardest, never stop thinking that
somehow I could have done an even better job, no matter how small or large the
job it. I am a Capricorn, for one thing, and you know, we strive. Also, there are
so many days when I fail as a rancher, when I fail as a writer, when I fail as
a teacher. So there is plenty of cause
to try harder. My friend Fenton Johnson
calls this the price of admission to being a writer. You are never going to
think the finished work is as good as it could have been and you are only as
good as the thing you are working on right now. If I had let the good stuff that
has happened to me go to my head, well, then I would be an asshole. I feel lucky to be here, lucky to have gotten
out of my childhood alive, lucky to have found a place in the world that feels
like home, luckiest of all to do what I love for a living, but I don’t take one
moment of it for granted.
Your childhood was a horror house, yet I still felt your
deep well of deep understanding and almost matter-of-fact mourning of what you
did not have (and should have), and what you did with what you got instead. Do
you think we can ever transcend our childhoods? And in a way, should we, since
all those healed over wounds make us more compassionate if we let them?
Here is another thing writing this book solidified in my
emotional center. I was born to parents who wanted me not at all, but that is
far from the worst thing that can ever happen to anyone, and in my case it may
have been the very thing that set me on this wonderful path. Being a writing
teacher has taught me so many things, but one thing it has really taught me is
that the abuse I suffered in my household was probably a 4 on a scale of 10. People
do terrible things to children, and in my house, we had enough to eat, we
weren’t on the run from the police, there were no guns (just to name a few
things our privilege spared us). I don’t even know who I would be if I had not
had the childhood I did. Would I be a writer?
Would I have compassion? Would I be so excited when the trauma stories
of my students find their way into the world? Would I have found my way to the
ranch? Nature was a much better parent to me than either of the people I was
born to, but it is possible to see that as a gift rather than a tragedy. I am
who I am because of everything that happened, good and bad, and I like who I am
well enough.
I’m always obsessed by writing process. Do you feel that
every book you write is built on the one before? Or is it always new?
I told myself, when I started writing this book, you are not
going to rely on any of your old tricks. That is a terrible thing for a writer
to tell herself, and I don’t even know exactly what I meant by it, but I knew
each time I was doing that and made myself stop. The themes of my previous work
appear in this book because they are the themes of my life, but in the voice of
this book I am being much more generous with myself. I made space for
self-discovery on the page. That made me very very nervous because I often
think reflection, (as it has come to be called in NF classes) can be quite dull
and can serve to shut the reader out of the story. I did more of it than ever before here, and
though it scared me I think it was the right decision for this book.
What’s obsessing you now and why?
Well, I got married last summer, and I have never thought of
myself as a married person, and I find my own status therein a constant source
of both humor and wonder. I married a Taoist Forest Service lifer named Mike
and I want to find a way to write about that happiness. Another dangerous
subject. Other obsessions: The Arctic
and the way it is showing us exactly how dire and imminent the climate
catastrophe is. Also the beauty of the Arctic. I’m heading to Iceland this
summer. The work of my students is obsessing me, especially my students at the
Institute of American Indian Arts, who are putting so much good work into the
world right now, creating a whole new Native American Literature Renaissance.
My non-profit, Writing By Writers, which is growing into all kinds of new
programs in several states and Chamonix France. See, I told you, teaching is
almost always at the center of my life.
What question didn’t I ask that I should have?
Not one. These were great. Pan