Saturday, May 17, 2008

In which the author's keyboard is possessed

In between dealing with the face swelling, I got a new computer! (I always begin a new novel with a new computer, and it since it seems to take me a few years, it works out fine.) Because we all have Dells (I had a Mac years ago when I had a job job and loved it) and are all networked, I got a bright shiny silver one, that is so rich and pretty, I keep stopping work just to admire it.

However, my new keyboard was possessed.

It made the programs stop working, and made odd messages flash on the screen. When I typed, the time would show up at every other letter. We got on the phone with tech support for four hours, who gee, what a surprise, had no idea what was going on and nearly started with the dreaded "You have to reinstall windows." Finally tech got the problem fixed, and I got off the phone, and two seconds later, all the programs stopped working and the computer began flashdancing. The keyboard then began typing every other letter and forgetting the middle ones. When we changed back to my battered-within-an-inch of-its-life keyboard, everything worked!

There's only one problem remaining. I wish the type were a tad sharper. I tried Cleartype, but while it sharpened the type, it made the font size a tad too big, and no matter how I get back into display, it's either this slightly large size or miniscule. Does anyone out there have a Dell and know the solution?

Meanwhile, it's such a hopeful feeling to have a new computer. I wonder if it's legal in any state to marry your computer?


Jeff Lyons said...


Wow... really weird. I'm a MAC man myself, so can't help, but you should be able to just buy a USB or wireless keyboard (a new one off the shelf). You don't have to use th one they gave you with the unit. There are some kickass keyboards out there... and you can even use some of the new MAC keyboards because they are made to work with Windows now because MAC runs Windows too. So... you should not have to fall back on the battered and the broken of the past. :)

Re marrying your computer... You might have to move to California to do that. We're on a roll with the marriage thing... I'm sure your idea is working its way through the legislature right now. I'll keep you posted. :)


Clea Simon said...

Hey, I bet you could do it up here in Massachusetts! And even though I'm a Mac person, I will try to understand your different life choices. Seriously, though, you should send/ship that haunted keyboard back. Might be a poltergeist, but might also be a short circuit -- and you should get your money back and/or a working replacement, even if you only keep it as a spare.

Caroline said...

I'm going to send that sucker back and get a different keyboard. Even if I do marry my computer, I'm keeping my own name, though.

Leora Skolkin-Smith said...

Caroline this thing abut possession and your comuter keyboard gave me a much needed roar of laughter. Hilarious.

Listen, once my whole compuer started blinking out strange and rapid images, a multitude of programs, all flashing at once--it was insane. I discovered, since my cats walked across the keyboard so often, cat hairs were stuck inside the keyboard, in all the crannies and edges. When I cleaned the tiny hairs all out, the keyboard completely went back to normal.

Who knows what possesses a keyboard, right?