I'm terrified of what I am writing.
I'm superstitious so I can't really talk about a novel in progress, but the central thorny, dark issue of this novel-in-the-works seems so real to me that I feel unnerved. I know it is magic thinking on my part and that writing about it won't make it happen, but I cannot shake the terror. A writer friend said that she recognizes this process, that is also happened to her (and what a knockout novel she produced because of it) and that "maybe we need to write about the things that scare us" and I'm thinking she's right.
I've intentionally written about things that have unnerved or scared me before--the crippling asthma of my youth, the sudden death of a loved one, long and mysterious illness--but those were all things that had already happened to me (but again, maybe that is magic thinking to imagine they could not happen again.) This though, feels new and raw and overwhelming. And the only thing I can think to do about it is to continue to write. And write. And write.