I was able to talk to a great person in NY, who then told me how radically laws can differ state to state. So I put out the word to people I knew on Facebook (and got one terrific funeral director) and called two places in Mass, where I need the funeral home to be. One of them was coldly silent and said no one could talk to me. The other said, yes, ask away, and when I did, a question about autopsy, there was that funny cold silence again, and he said, "I don't feel at all comfortable discussing this with you over the phone, goodbye." And he hung up on me! Just like that!
Lucky for me, I was able to find what I needed online and from the funeral director.
The thing I do love about research is entering someone else's world. After my 1950s novel, I am writing one around coma and I already found my neurologist to talk to and have pages of notes. Still, I wish that "the more you know, the less you realize you know" would not be such a common thing in my world.